


truth is (i'm not over you)

by Anonymous



Category: AOA | Ace of Angels, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Exes, F/M, Getting Back Together, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-15 22:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16072538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Guess who Youkyung told me she saw the other day.”With nervous caution, Mina reaches for the can so she can carefully pop the tab. “Who?” She fixes her gaze on Hyejeong as her tall best friend proceeds to take the seat adjacent to hers. “Stop looking so serious,” she berates the other, a hint of a whine detected in her tone. “Spit it out.”"Yoongi."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally written september 2016. anyway, the two of them would match well, if you give it a thought.

  
  


 

“Guess who Youkyung told me she saw the other day.”

Hyejeong’s expression as she places an unopened can of Coke Zero in front of her is as solemn  as the tone of her voice, and it makes Mina anxious. Her best friend is usually easygoing, so with an opening like that - it makes her wonder what kind of ghost from the past has made itself known in the present. Hyejeong doesn’t even pose the statement as a question, which means she doesn’t even really expect an answer. 

With nervous caution, Mina reaches for the can so she can carefully pop the tab. “Who?” She fixes her gaze on Hyejeong as her tall best friend proceeds to take the seat adjacent to hers. “Stop looking so serious,” she berates the other, a hint of a whine detected in her tone. “Spit it out.”

“Yoongi.” The moment Hyejeong says the name, Mina feels her entire being freeze. No one has really mentioned that name around her for years, and for good reason - she doesn’t really deal well with memories concerning anything and everything related to the name. “Mina, Youkyung says he’s back,” Hyejeong continues, and Mina can recognise the worry on her expression. Among Mina’s friends now, only Hyejeong was really there from the  start, and maybe that’s probably why she knows how much this news means to her.

Mina hums softly, letting the information slowly settle in. She doesn’t want to appear concerned; it’s been roughly four years since she’d last caught a glimpse of him in real life, and six years since they broke up. Last she heard about him, he’d landed a job with some big time photographer after finishing his required time at the army, and that same gig required him to go traveling around Asia. The mention of his name shouldn’t have any effect on her at this point, so she forces herself to let out a laugh. It comes out sounding more like a gurgle caught in her throat, but that works just fine because it makes Hyejeong laugh, which in turn breaks the tension that had grown around him.

“That’s cool,” she finally answers, shrugging her shoulders and silently hoping that she looks like she doesn’t care. “I mean, I guess he was bound to turn up again eventually.”

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

What Mina and Yoongi started out as something like puppy love; the initial confession isn’t even really made by either one of them, but by halfway through their second year of high school, 75% of the class was more than aware of her silly crush on her seatmate.

“Hey Mina, you like Yoongi don’t you?!” Even years later, Mina will never be able to figure out what Kim Seohye’s point was, announcing it to the class like that one morning, after she arrives at the classroom. The bell hadn’t even rung for homeroom, and already Mina’s cheeks were a flaming shade of red and when she took her usual seat next to Yoongi, she had noticed his usual bored expression. He hadn’t seemed the least bit fazed, like he didn’t care at all what was happening around him, not even with everyone else laughing - all at Mina’s expense.

The teasing and jeers had continued through the day - it was all very  _ high school _ , but Mina was a teenager, and at the time all she had wanted to do was dig a hole in the ground and curl up in it forever.

She had flinched when at the end of the day, Yoongi had turned to face her and tapped on her arm to get her attention; he just ended up seeming amused by her reaction, but from two seats away she could tell Seohye was about to make another snide comment. 

“Come on,” he had told her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her out of the room, ignoring the teasing callouts and the hushed whispers that spreads throughout the class. He doesn’t really take her far - just outside the door, by the hallway. 

“What?” She’d whined, confused, immediately trying to yank her hand back. She thinks now she was probably a deep shade of red, with her embarrassment at an all-time high.

“I just need to say something away from everyone else,” Yoongi had said, casually placing his hands on her shoulders and staring her down. She’d consciously fidgeted with the hem of her blouse, her eyes wide as she’d forced herself to meet his gaze.

“Stop looking like such a sad mouse,” Yoongi had told her, and until now the words echo clear in her head whenever she recalls this moment. He was wearing that look of bored amusement that he’d perfected early on, the look that she’d found so cute and attractive at the early age of fifteen. 

“I’m sorry,” she’d muttered, following by a string of mumbled apologies, rambling incoherently about how he should forget everything their classmates had been saying, and how she was sorry for liking him and -

And then he’d laughed, and ruffled her hair; until now that action - from anyone, makes Mina’s heart flutter. But the feeling she’d gotten from the way her fingers had easily slid through the spaces between his when his hand had taken hers right after - she doesn’t remember there being a time when something had felt as right in her life.

“I like you too,” he’d said, his tone trying hard to sound unaffected, but he’d barely been able to look at her, and even Mina, with all her obliviousness, was able to detect the light blush that colored his cheeks.

 

 

♪ 

  
  


 

At first it begins to feel like Mina is waiting for the other shoe to drop, like she can turn the corner and she’d find Yoongi just standing there. She envisions this scenario in her head so many times, and yet she never figures out how she will react, or what she will say to him. Eventually, she manages to consciously forget Hyejeong’s news; besides, It becomes easier to ignore the fact that her ex-boyfriend is not only back in the same country, but is also most likely in the same city, when you don’t really see him. 

A month passes, and  _ of course _ , it’s when Mina has her guard down that it finally happens. She’s at a convenience store just a block away from her apartment, filling a tall cup with blue slushie at the self-service station when a familiar voice greets her from behind.h-watch

“Mina?” Maybe she’s being a tad bit dramatic, but even though all he says is her name, a  wave of panic completely passes through her and she almost drops her cup. Her teeth dig into her bottom lip and she takes in two quick, but deep breaths before turning around with a forced that she hopes would pass as somewhere between friendly and pleasantly surprised.

“Hm?” She even pretends that she doesn’t recognise the voice, but her ‘casual’ tone instead just sounds like a nervous squeak. “Yoongi. Oh, wow, it’s been a while.”

He nods in response, and the way he’s looking at her causes her cheeks to warm; consciously, she licks her lips, and tries to stare back at him. He actually doesn’t look that much different from the last time she’d seen him - which she thinks should probably come as a surprise - a lot of people she knows who went to serve their mandatory military service all came back looking bigger, somehow, but Yoongi still looks like his old self. A little broader around the shoulders, but barely.

“You look good,” he says, and it confuses her briefly as to why he’s gesturing at his head. Her own hand reaches up to touch her own locks, and she realises that he means her hair. The last time they’d seen each other she had chopped it off to sport a bob - no more stress hair, that’s how she had referred to it. No more Yoongi, no more stress, is what she really meant. “You grew it back out again.”

_ it’s been six years, hair fucking grows, _ she thinks, but she just plasters a tight smile on her lips and she nods.  He looks like he’s about to say something more -  _ which is funny, because he was never a man of many words _ , she thinks bitterly, and so she just steps past him.

“I have to go,” she tells her, her tone suddenly hurried, and her blue slushie altogether forgotten.  “It was nice running into you,” she even adds, but she couldn’t look at him directly because he always  _ was _ able to tell when she’s lying.

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

Mina wonders what it means, if when someone from the past comes knocking, the first memories that fill your head are the nastiest ones. She’s repressed most of what happened between her and Yoongi during those last few months of them being together, but after seeing him, most of it comes back in a rush that she finds herself reeling from the retroactive hurt it causes her.

Graduation was coming up, and they were fighting a lot. Mina wanted more, wanted promises from Yoongi - and maybe she should have known better, because all those years with Yoongi and she knew him better than anyone else. At least that’s what she liked to think, but maybe she’d been mistaken because if she wasn’t then she probably shouldn’t have expected.

But she’d wanted to think that over five years together meant  _ something _ , even for him. Five years and her love had never wavered - she was deep in love, and even though she didn’t want to assume anything, she was unable to stop herself from imagining a life with him.

“I don’t know what you want from me.” These are words he’d uttered that had sent her off the edge. As was usual with him, he didn’t even  _ sound _ affected at all; And Mina knows - _ knew _ , she tells herself that she knows nothing about him now - that he wasn’t good at expressing himself, but she had her limits too when it came to understanding him. 

She had blown up on him, and she doesn’t even remember all the things she’d said, but she knows she’d gone on an endless rant, her voice just getting louder as she’d kept going and going. The worst part of it is that all he’d done was stare at her, looking increasingly annoyed.

She had ended up storming out of his place, slamming the door behind her and just forcing back tears until she reached her own apartment and managed to crawl into her bed where she’d wept into her pillows. Yoongi had always been like that - frustrating, and closed off, but she’d always known he loved her. That was the first time in all their years together that she had wavered and doubted him.

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

“Let’s go inside,” Mina declares, tugging at her best friend’s arm when they pass by a small fortune telling cafe. They used to do this all the time when they were younger, just for fun. They haven’t gone in years, both of them too busy being adults, but Mina feels being childlike, just this once, so she doesn’t take no for an answer.

“Mina, this is silly,” Hyejeong points out, laughing even though she just as easily gives in. “What do you want to ask about?”

And there are a lot of things, really, that she could ask about - she could ask about that promotion at work she desperately wants, or about possibly winning the lottery in the near future, or even about her travel prospects, but -

“Is there something there about love?” These are the words that come out of her mouth once she’s seated across the so-called fortune teller, with tarot cards laid out in front of her. Hyejeong raises an eyebrow and leans in with curiosity, but she tries to ignore her best friend for now.

“Well,” the fortune teller is slow to speak, and Mina is unsure if they’re being dramatic on purpose, or if that is just how it seems to her because of everything that’s running through her head. “This one,” the woman continues, pointing at an upturned card, “is telling me that you’re quite eager to fall in love.”

Besides her, it’s obvious that Hyejeong suppresses a giggle, but all Mina can do is flash a sheepish smile.  “But this one,” explains the fortune teller, this time tapping at another card, “is telling me that a past love is preventing you from finding new happiness.”

Hyejeong sounds like she’s about to cough out a lung, and Mina can’t blame her because she almost chokes on her own spit when she hears those words. “It seems that you can forget about someone from your past,” the fortune teller keeps on going and Mina just wants to sink in her seat and rewind time back an hour so she can rethink her decision to have her fortune told. 

The last thing she needs is a complete stranger drilling into her that she’s not over Yoongi - she thinks about it enough on her own.

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

The truth is, not everything about their relationship had been bad. They had a few issues that constantly came up, but not any more than your average couple; they’d stayed together for a long time, and even though it’s easy to remember the hurtful moments, there was still a lot of good there.

One of Mina’s favorite memories is when they had gone on a road trip between their second and third years of University. Neither of them had cars, but both of them had just gotten their licenses, and one morning Yoongi had showed up with a car he had borrowed from a friend.

“You, me, anywhere.” His smile had been wide, genuine - excited. And while he didn’t mention it, Mina knows he’d planned it because of a passing statement she’d made a year or two earlier about always wanting to go on a road trip. Yoongi was always like that; he pretends not to listen, or not to care, but when push comes to shove it was obvious how well he knew her. In general, he was like that about life - his default mood was lethargic, but he had always been one of the most passionate people that Mina knew, and that was a big part of why she had fallen in love with him.

It hadn’t been perfect; the drive to Busan took them over seven hours and by the time they’d arrived, all Yoongi had wanted to do was check into a hostel and sleep off the next twenty four hours. It didn’t help that they’d also ended up spending an hour lost due to taking a wrong exit along the highway, and Mina might have been a little too eager to step on the accelerator all the time when she was behind the wheel, but it’s always a memory Mina will look back on fondly.  

And she knows, if she actually tries, she can easily dig up a hundred more similar memories, but she doesn’t, because such recollections are just why it hurt so much more when everything had to end.

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

The trip to the fortune teller just fills her head with even more thoughts of him. It’s ridiculous - they’ve been broken up for about as long as they have been together, give or take a couple of months. It’s not as if Mina has stayed single and celibate during that time apart; she’s dated around, had a short-lived relationship or two, even. Still, the thought of Yoongi suffocates her, envelopes her completely to the point that she can barely breathe.

“Don’t you think that going out with your friends and having a fun Friday night in town is better than throwing yourself a pity party for one? ” Hyejeong is eyeing the stack of romance DVD’s that sat on the coffee table, next to a big bag of assorted cookies and a tall bottle of soda. 

“Nope, no, no - ” She shakes her head vehemently, and all but kicks Hyejeong out of the apartment as she pushes her out the door. “Have fun! Have a beer or two for me,” she adds, her eyes curved in half moons as she flashes a forced smile at Hyejeong before slamming the door shut after the other. 

Silence echoes around the empty apartment, and she suddenly, all by herself, everything feels heavier. The idea of a night with nothing but sappy love stories and piles of junk food to keep her company doesn’t seem so appealing anymore, and instead she marches straight to her bedroom.

She digs into her closet until she finds what she’s looking for; it’s a box that she hasn’t seen in year - two, in fact, not since she and Hyejeong had first moved in together and she had put it away where she’d assumed she’d never have to dig it out from. Out of sight, out of mind - that was the idea. “You should probably throw that away, don’t you think?” Hyejeong had asked, but even then she’d ignored her best friend’s words, and now she’s regretting that stubbornness.

She places the box on her bed, and she stares at it, wondering what to do next. She thinks of opening it, if only to check if there’s anything inside that’s worth saving, but the thought makes her wretch.  _ It’s better _ , she thinks to herself,  _ if she gets rid of it altogether without looking back _ .

With a soft grunt, she picks the box up, determined to leave it out in the back; just as she steps out into the living room there’s a knock on the door and she almost drops it in surprise. She has no idea who it could be - most of her friends are probably out and about since it’s a Friday night, and if Hyejeong had left something, she had her key.  _ Unless _ , she thinks, her best friend had left her keys which, knowing her, is highly possible. 

“Just a second!” She yells out, relaxing because now she’s convinced it could be no one else but her scatterbrained best friend. Balancing her box of memories against her hip, she reaches forward with her free hand to pull open the door. “Did you forget someth—”

She stops mid-sentence as soon as she comes face to face with who actually is behind the door. Her nerves are on the edge, and her chest tightens before she can force herself to say his name. “Yoongi.”

“Hey.”

  
  


 

 

**tbc.**


	2. Chapter 2

  
  
  


 

The first time Yoongi and Mina have sex, they’re 19 and a few shy months away from graduating high school. Mina had come over to study for finals, except Yoongi just felt like he was being tortured; for some unfathomable reason her subdued bossiness and determined seriousness in explaining derivatives and functions was something that he found incredibly attractive, not to mention quite distracting.

His head had begun to hurt from trying to focus on all the numbers and variables instead of her, and the first chance he gets, he suggests a break. Mina had been skeptical, insisting that they had so many more chapters to go through - and it’s a little amusing because Mina is the least focused student on any normal day, but obviously exam season had sent her in a panic.

He’d dismissed her worries with a chuckle, explaining to her that it was time for some snacks at least, but she still wouldn’t shut up. Normally, it would be cute, but Yoongi had his limits too. Cliche as it sounds, Yoongi had done the only thing he could think of that’s foolproof at shutting her up - he’d leaned in and kissed her, it was something he’d been wanting to do all day, anyway.

No one else had been home, no one to interrupt them, and things had gotten heated far too quick, but both of them had been ready. It wasn’t magical, and it was far from perfect - it was obvious that neither of them knew what they were doing. Never mind the occasional porn movie that Yoongi had watched before, real life, he’d found out that afternoon, is nothing like any of that.

Their first time had been all sorts of awkward fumbling and tangled limbs, and even now he isn’t sure if any of it had felt good for Mina. Not to mention he finished a little too fast that if asked, he still would rather lie about it and pretend that he’d forgotten about how exactly all of it went down.

That’s a lie though, because in reality he remembers all of it; he remembers the feeling of Mina against him, her sweat slick and sticky against his skin, and the way she’d squeaked when his fingers had  _ literally _ gotten  entangled through her locks. Most of all, he remembers the soft, needy sounds she would make whenever he was close to doing something that felt good for her.

The aftermath had been Mina laughing tiredly, with almost palpable contentment - and mostly he’d wanted to just close his eyes and sleep for the next 24 hours, but she was just  _ right there _ , distracting him with her contagious happiness.

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

“Hey.”

Through the years, Yoongi has perfected the art of sounding calm and nonchalant even if he feels nothing but. Even though Mina looks drab and haggard, in nothing but an oversized shirt and tiny sleeping shorts, with her hair in a messy high ponytail, his first thoughts are all about how beautiful she looks - but the only thing that comes out of his mouth is a casual greeting,  He’s almost thirty, and he likes to think he’s gone through a lot of growth over the years they’ve been apart but there’s something about her that easily takes him back to being young and stupid.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, not even looking like she wants to let him in. 

“I need to talk to you,” he says, his voice uncharacteristically hoarse. “Mina.” The way she reacts when he says her name - eyes going wide, with both anxiety and longing clearly reflected in them - it gets to him. He doesn’t really have it figured out, what he’s going to say to her; he isn’t even sure he  _ knows _ what he wants to say her, and maybe that’s why he makes the first move. 

“Mina,” he just repeats, before stepping inside the apartment, his big hands reaching forward to grab her face. He meets her gaze, and the way her expression softens is enough to drive all most of his uncertainty away.  He can tell, she’s been thinking of him as much as he has, and 

Later it would make him cringe, thinking about how it was like a scene from some cheesy movie (the type she’d make him watch when they were together), the way they go from awkwardly regarding each other by the doorway, to hurriedly falling on her bed together. This isn’t why he’d gone to her apartment; all he knows is that he’d been unable to get her out of his mind ever since they’d run into each other.

The thing is, it’s easy; or maybe it’s just him - and this is the way he knows how to communicate with her. He still knows every inch of her body, every pleasure point she has; maybe it’s body memory, but he still remembers every single thing that makes her moan, and if his own grunts are any indication, it’s obvious that she’s the same with him.

_ I love you _ , his mind is screaming, but he pushes the traitorous thought down, opting instead to focus on Mina and  the way her hair is messily splayed across the bed; the way her body keeps naturally reacting to his touch; and finally, the she’s saying his name - soft, wanting and full of need. 

But the thought is persistent.  _ I love you _ , it continues to run through his head, even after he collapses on top of her, their panting in tune with each other’s. He bites his tongue though, opting to hold her close against him possessively as he closes his eyes.

“Yoongi,” she says, her fingers dancing along his arm. He thinks she wants to talk - that’s how Mina is, always wanting everything laid out properly in front of them. But then she just snuggles closer and nuzzles against his chest, whispering a quiet ‘goodnight’ against his chest, and he feels thankful.

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

“I love you.”

It’s not until almost two years into their relationship that Yoongi finally says these words out loud to Mina.  It had been a normal day, with the two of them hanging out.; she’d gotten restless in the middle of the movie they were watching and Mina had demand they pause it so they can go out for a quick walk and head to the nearby convenience store to buy some snacks.

The moment they’d arrived at the store, Mina had grabbed a basket which she started filling up with an assortment of items - both junk food, and health snacks alike. 

“You’re not seriously going to eat all of that?” He had asked, giving her an incredulous look that easily matched his tone.

And then she’d laughed - and when Mina laughs, it usually starts with a tiny giggle that grows and grows until she’s just shaking uncontrollably and making all kinds off happy, adorable sounds.

“It’s mostly for you,” she’d then explained as she brought her basket to the counter; she had smiled at him, tucking a lock of her behind her ear as the cashier rang up her purchase.  “I know you get lazy to go out and buy food, and I don’t want you to go hungry and die because you know - I’m not ready for you to die just yet!” 

She had smiled at him, and paid for the snacks, and then she’d gone on talking, even after they’d walked out of the store; but everything she was saying simply flew over his head - because right then he just  _ felt _ it. And so he said it.

“I love you.”

And then there was sudden silence as Mina stopped in her tracks so she can full turn and stare at him. Yoongi’s lips had quirked into an awkward smile - although he really meant for it to pass of as a confident smirk. He had half expected for her to give him her patented look of confusion, but instead she’d readily smiled at him.

Funny enough, even though it had taken him so long to say it out loud, between the two of them he had still been the first one to do so. He knew Mina felt it too, that was easy because she showed it so effortlessly even without having to verbalize anything. He had even caught her once or twice - maybe even a handful of times when she had so obviously almost said the words, but he also knew that she was being cautious, and he knew that she was doing so for him. She didn’t want to pressure him into saying it back, and that’s another thing he loved about her.

“I love you too.” The words had easily slide off her tongue, simple and matter-of-fact and with a beaming smile, but when she had said it, the happiness that had welled up in Yoongi’s chest was so much, so great, so  _ overwhelming _ that it could easily be categorized as embarrassing.

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

The morning after, Yoongi wakes up first. He doesn’t know if he should just go - a part of him, the anxious, panicked part, wants to bolt. He’d arrived there not really knowing what he was going to say.  He told himself that all he wanted was to see her again, but obviously that was a lie because it’s clear that he wanted  _ more _ .

Her sleeping figure, snuggled against his side, so peaceful and beautiful - it gives his thoughts a pause. Sneaking out would be completely counterproductive because he  _ knows _ , he wants her in his life.

When she stirs, his lips begin to curl into a sleepy smile. He still hasn’t found the right words, but he wants to  _ try _ and talk, at least. He likes to think he’s six years older  _ and _ wiser, and that somehow he can make this work with her if he tries.

But then her big, brown eyes fixates on him, and the first thing he recognises reflected in them is alarm. She bolts upright into a sitting position before he can even say anything, and soon she’s fumbling to get her underwear and the rest of her clothes back on.

“Mina,” he tries, hoping that will be enough to slow her down.  _ He _ ’s the one feeling confused now, but slowly he gets up as well, pulling on the assortment of clothes he left lying around on the floor of her bedroom the night before. 

“We can’t do this anymore.” Mina’s voice is uncharacteristically firm, and while he can’t blame her, hearing the words still sting.

“Wait, stop.” He hesitates, facing her and trying to reach for her hands. His tongue feels heavy, but he actually  _ wants _ to talk for once; she refuses to look at him though, and just as quickly as he’d reached for her, she pulls her hands away. For once she seems really determined, and it catches him off guard.

“You really need to go before Hyejeong catches you here,” she continues, turning him around and leading him towards the door of her room. “ _ Please _ \- ”

His shoulders slump and he finally just allows her to push him out; he tries opening his mouth but now nothing comes out. As he steps out into the living room, the room to the other door opens and he comes face to face with Hyejeong.

The look on the tall girl’s face is unreadable, but Mina’s soft squeak from behind him is enough to make him avert his gaze. “I’m gonna go,” he mumbles, and this time he’s the one not looking back as he hurries out of their apartment.

Yoongi closes his eyes once the door closes behind him; he has no idea what just happened but his everything feels heavy. He can hear hushed voices talking inside and he knows they’re talking about him. Hyejeong is probably telling Mina that everything about him is a bad idea - and he has a feeling that she’s most probably right.

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

The truth is that Yoongi had developed a crush on Mina the first time he’d seen her. He’s never told anyone this, especially not her, but it was the first day of high school, during the

Yoongi has never told anyone, not even Mina, how he’d actually developed a crush on her the first time he’d seen her. He had arrived just in time, with barely a second to spare, and as he’d casually fallen in line at the back, she’d come stumbling into the auditorium looking haggard and anxious as she tried to figure out which class she belonged to. 

He’d almost laughed out loud when she’d fallen in line at the female queue right beside him, and he was so amused because she easily looked like she was the tiniest girl in class; he isn’t delusional either, he could tell he was one the smallest guys too - but that’s what made it even funnier, the two of them, lost at the back of the line behind everyone else who towered over them. That was probably lucky too, because at least it meant few other people noticed their tardiness.

He’d cast a sideways glance at her, wanting to ask if she’s okay, but instead he’d found himself suppressing a smile, because even though parts of her hair was sticking out, he thought she still looked positively adorable. 

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

It’s one early evening when he’s out with Taehyung, ordering take-out, that Hyejeong approaches him out of the blue. He doesn’t really see her at first, not when she enters the diner and she makes a beeline straight for him.  Suddenly she’s just there, towering over him by a good several centimeters thanks to the heels she wore on her feet. He’s know Hyejeong since high school, and ‘intimidating’ is the last word he would have ever used to describe her back then. Hyejeong was easy going, friendly - a little bit of a space case sometimes, just like her best friend.

“You should stop messing with her.” Her voice when she tells him off is low and icy, and it makes Yoongi flinch. This is a side of her he has never really seen before - a little surprising, considering she was there for the entirety of his relationship with Mina in the past, and now he wonders if he should be thankful that Hyejeong always knew to let them be.

“It’s not -”  _ It’s not like that _ , he wants to explain, but already Hyejeong is cutting him off as she goes on with her tirade.

It’s been weeks since that first time he’d appeared at their doorstep, and maybe the same ‘confrontation’ has happened several more times since..  _ We can’t do this again _ , were the words that Mina had told him, and yet it’s obvious to him that she can’t stay away him just as much as he couldn’t from her.

“She still loves you. I don’t know why, but all these years and it’s still you - so stop playing.”

Taehyung’s jaw slightly drops as he watches the scene unfold, his eyes flitting back and forth between him and Hyejeong. Yoongi would probably laugh at how comical the younger looks, except Hyejeong is making him feel tense.

“I’m not doing anything she doesn’t want.” Yoongi tries to act all cool and disaffected, but Hyejeong’s disgusted look makes his stomach lurch. 

“If you can’t give her what she deserve - ” Hyejeong’s voice softens, and now all Yoongi hears is her disappointment, “ - then just don’t.”

Taehyung gives him a curious look when Hyejeong walks away, and in return he shoots back an annoyed glare. “Don’t fucking ask,” he snaps, grabbing their bags filled with food; he walks ahead a few steps before slowing down and allowing the younger to catch up. “It’s  _ complicated _ ,” he adds, for some reason feeling like he has to say more.

“Sure, hyung. If you say so.” Taehyung purses his lips, and mocks Yoongi’s shoulder shrug. “But sometimes things are only complicated because you make them that way.” 

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

He’s not delusional as to how much he was an asshole to her around the end.

He was in love with her: so much in love that it was scary. He knew what she wanted - she wanted him, she wanted promises of forever. He knew her so well, and he could tell she was imagining a complete future for the two of them, and while he would never admit to anyone then, all of that scared him.

Mina, at that point, was the only girl he had ever been with.  (There  _ was _ that senior who he had freely give his first kiss to when he was a freshman in high school - but she’s such a non-entity that oftentimes Yoongi completely forgets about her.) After five years, with college graduation looming over their heads, it had started to feel like everything was moving too fast.

His instincts had him closing off - and in retrospect, he can see how unfair he had been, especially to a girlfriend who had done what she can for years to be patient with him and all of his personal issues.

That one argument they had - it’s still clear in his head. Mina had completely gone off on him, and each biting remark she made stung, even though he acted otherwise. He remembers just how he had gotten more and more frustrated, just yelling at him until finally she’d snapped. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t be together then.” She had sid it in such a cold manner, so unlike her, that the words kept echoing in Yoongi’s head, and chipping away at his heart even after Mina had slammed the door behind her, and yet still, even after Yoongi had one too many beers hours later.

But he knew, even after that, even with her having left the status of their relationship hanging in the air - it doesn’t excuse what he did after. He’d thought sex would make it better - he thought that was what he wanted, to know what it feels like with someone else. He thought it would help take her out of his mind, and help with his apprehensions.

But in the morning, when he woke up with another woman, he’d just felt sick.

There had been a loud knock on the door, and between his massive hangover and his agitation at having stupidly slept with someone else, he hadn’t given it much thought before he’d gone to open the door. Except it was Mina standing there in front of his doorway, and it had taken all of his self-control not to throw up right at her feet.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” he’d muttered, and he still remembers the way Mina had winced.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” were the first words out of Mina’s mouth, and even though he could tell that she was still upset, he could also clearly see her concern for his well-being. Unfortunately, that hadn’t been any help with the nauseous guilt that had been brewing at the pit of his stomach.

“I’m sor - “ He’d tried reaching out for her hand, but before he could finish his apology, a look of terror had appeared in Mina’s bright eyes, and when he looked over his shoulder, he realised that it was because of the woman walking out of his bedroom in a comfortable and sleepy manner.

The hurt had been so obvious in Mina’s expression; her eyes were shiny, and it was obvious, to him especially, that she was trying to so hard not to fall apart and break down into a sobbing mess in front of him.

“Why?” Her bottom lip quivered, and Yoongi had felt like  _ he _ was about to break down himself, and so he’d done the only thing he always did in moments like that - he clammed up.

“Aren’t we broken up?” He shot back at her, fingers going through his messy hair as he felt his headache grown tenfold. But that pain had been nothing compared to the sting he felt after her hand met his cheek with a resounding slap.

He deserved that and probably more, so he just stood there, and he watched her leave.

  
  


 

♪

  
  


 

He doesn’t know what it is they’ve become - they never really talk, but they see each other regularly. The sex is good,  _ great _ , even, and although Yoongi feels like something is missing, right now he’s willing to take what he can get when it comes to Mina. So when she appears on his doorstep one night, he assumes it’s for the usual.

“Why did you do it?”

She looks so tired and lost, and as she walks past him and into his apartment, he thinks she feels even smaller than usual. “Why did I do what?” He asks this but even before she answers, he already exactly what it is that she’s referring to.

He winces; he’s still just as bad as communicating as he was all those years ago - but at least now, he’s willing to try.

“I was a stupid fuck,” he offers with a regretful chuckle, his gaze cautiously meeting hers.

Her expression softens, and she shakes her head. Soft, tired laughter escapes her, and he thinks he just wants to hold her already.  “I don’t know what we’re doing right now, Yoongi, but - “

In that moment, he feels a rush of panic rise up to his chest; the last thing he wants to hear is her saying that they need to stop seeing each other. He’s actually  _ scared _ that she’ll mean it this time, and he quickly cuts her off before she can finish.

“No, I - Mina.“ His brow furrows in obvious frustration; why is it so hard for him to just be fucking honest with her? “I don’t know what this is either, but - “

“But?” She’s looking at him expectantly, and the hope mirrored in his eyes makes him smile.

“I’m still bad at promises, Mina, but I never stopped loving you.”

And it’s true; after they had broken up, he’d kept most of Mina’s things that she’d left behind - a lot of them were useless, like some old clothes and CD’s. Jin told him it would be best if he threw them away, or gave them back, but he kept them - he figured as long as he had them, he’ll have reason to see her. He just didn’t realise at the time it would take him six fucking years before he’d find himself at her doorstep again.

She closes her eyes, and slowly, laughter teeters out of her. “Don’t be ridiculous, Yoongi. It still really hurts, everything, until now, and you know all I wanted was to be with you I was willing to give you time and space and whatever it is you needed from me, but - ”

“I’m not,” he sighs and takes a step towards her; he assumes it’s a good sign when she doesn’t budge, and more so when she actually allows him to take her hand. “I’m sorry for what happened back then. Whatever I say about it now will just sound like dumb as fuck excuses, but the truth is I was stupid and an asshole, and all I can do is try not to be that person anymore.” He pauses, and for a moment he allows himself to pause, take a breath and just stare at her beautiful face. “I can’t blame you for feeling how you do, but I want you to know that I’m being honest, even if took me this long - I’m still so fucking in love with you Kwon Mina.”

The silence that follows feels too long, and it’s insane how much hold she has on him that her silence scares him as much as it does. “Mina,  _ please _ ,” he whispers, his voice barely audible. “Let’s try this again.”

He isn’t sure what it says about him, when her eyes begin to well up and it makes him smile; but he  _ knows _ , it’s Mina, so of course he  _ knows _ , that these are tears of relief and happiness. He uses his hands to cup her face, his thumb brushing away some of the tears. 

“Don’t break my heart again,” she mumbles, her own fingers trying to furiously wipe away at her own tears. Yoongi smiles, hands letting go of her face so he can wrap them around her wrists instead to steady her hands. 

“I won’t,” he tells her, his breath hitching. He  _ hates _ making promises - it always feels like they’re bound to be broken, but he wants to believe he can at least do his best to keep just this one. 

Mina nods, eyes still shiny and glossy and full of optimism that she can’t hide. “Okay, let’s do this.”   
  


  
  
  


 

 

**end.**


End file.
